Violet and Ira Meet, Marry, and Multiply

This is the third in my "Virtual Sitting Shiva" series of Blog postings of memories of Violet (Stark) Glickstein, my dear wife of 57 years, who sadly passed away November 27, 2021. [The first posting in this series is Here]

THE BROOKLYN POST OFFICE DELIVERS!

The photo below shows the miraculously delivered letter I mailed to Violet, back in June 1963, in what turned out to be a successful attempt to contact her.  The address I had was off by over a mile! Yet, some dedicated Post Office employee went out of his or her way to correct the address and deliver it! (I'm proud to be the son of a Brooklyn Letter Carrier who walked miles each day, in all kinds of weather, with a mail sack on his back.  My Dad taught me to respect every person who earns his or her keep in a lawful occupation.)

Violet wrote the following letter in reply.

THAT WAS IN JUNE 1963.  

ONCE I HAD HER CORRECT PHONE NUMBER AND ADDRESS, I TURNED ON THE CHARM.

AND -- LONG STORY SHORT, -- WE WERE MARRIED A YEAR LATER!

Some necessary context is called for here. After graduating from the City College of New York, in January 1961, with an Electrical Engineering degree, I was working in North Plainfield, New Jersey and renting a room in nearby Westfield. On weekends, I'd stay at my parent's home in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, NY, where I pursued my social life.

WAS IT MY POETRY THAT WON HER OVER?

Starting in June 1963, we'd date on most weekends. Starting on July 22, 1963, and each month thereafter, I composed a love poem for Violet. This continued until we got engaged on Thanksgiving Day, November 1963.

Here we go!   

What do you think so far? Pretty good poetry considering that I'm an Engineer?

NOTE: In previous Blog postings, I've stated that I have no literal belief in Judaism, or any other religious system based on a Superior Being external to the Universe. For me, "God" or "Lord" or "Cupid" and similar names are merely short-cuts that refer to an essential NATURAL (not in any way Super-Natural) self-organizing feature inherent in the Universe.

That is what the Founders of our great experiment in free people governing themselves were referring to when they wrote about "the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God" in our Declaration of Independence. [Note capitalization. Do not put your trust in any source that pretends to quote the Declaration yet fails to capitalize these words.]

The poem below refers to the "Parachute Jump" in Coney Island, an easy boardwalk stroll from where I grew up in Brighton Beach. I've searched for the first photograph of Violet and me together, and I believe it was taken at this location in September 1963. 

OK, here it is! Thanksgiving, November 1963, when I formally asked Violet to be my wife.

Readers familiar with the poetry and prose of Lewis Carroll, particularly "Through the Looking-Glass", a sequel to his "Alice in Wonderland", will remember The Walrus and the Carpenter, who trick a bunch of fat Oysters to trot along to a beach party, only to discover they are to serve as the main course! (click for lyrics)

The photos below may be the earliest surviving pictures of Violet and me in the same place (just not in the same snapshot). We are with my first "Toffee", a very smart and streetwise dog who was some kind of a terrier mix. We got him when I was still living with my parents in Brooklyn and attending City College in Manhattan. 

Years later, when Violet and I lived in Apalachin, NY, I purchased my second "Toffee", a purebred Golden Retriever who had much better papers than me, see The Virtual Philosophy Club: Search results for toffee (tvpclub.blogspot.com).

Toffee was (at least in my opinion, and Violet's) the world's best and nicest dog. We went through obedience training, tracking, and agility together.

He knew lots of tricks. In the morning he would fetch his collar, my pool shoes, and the newspaper. He would follow hand signals or voice signals and stay, come, sit, roll over, and so on.


One of his best tricks was balancing a dog biscuit (or four, see photo) on his nose until you snapped your fingers.







I wrote to our daughter that "Toffee was so smart he must be partly Jewish!" She wrote back that she thought Toffee was telling his dog friends that his master "Ira was so smart he must be partly golden retriever."

Our granddaughters loved him and called him "uncle Toffee". Vi made him a food dish with that appellation. We were "mommy" and "daddy" to him.

Although I am not a literal believer, I have no doubt Toffee is now in a beautiful park just outside of Heaven, restored to his youthful vigor and playing with all the other dogs.

Every once in a while, one of the dogs stops playing, sniffs the air and perks up his ears ... and then runs to greet his master. Together, they cross the crystal bridge into Heaven.

God be with you Tof - See you on the other side

HOW TIME FLIES WHEN YOU ARE HAVING FUN!

50 YEARS OF MARRIAGE - FLAG DAY, JUNE 14th 1964 to 2014

TOP: We were young and foolish when we got married on June 14th 1964. 
BOTTOM: But look at what 50 years together has done! Lower middle photos are distorted using iPad "twisted" camera feature, but that is how we really feel! Ira (and Vi)

PILOT AND CO-PILOT FOR LIFE

Fifty years ago, a few days after our wedding, I rented a Cessna 152 and flew my new wife from Chatham Airport in NJ up to Niagara Falls, NY, stopping in Binghamton, NY for fuel. (Little did we know that less than two years later I would accept a job at IBM Owego, in the Binghamton area, and we would live and work there for nearly 40 years!)

TOP LEFT: Vi and Ira, Co-Pilot and Pilot for life, prepare to depart from Chatham Airport in Morristown, NJ. 
MIDDLE: We stopped in Binghamton, NY to refuel.
TOP RIGHT: Inflight on our "Honeymoon Special" adventure! 
BOTTOM: We rented a car and spent the night at the aptly named "Honeymoon Motel"on the Canadian side. 

We flew home the following day but the weather got bad so we had to spend the night at a hotel in Binghamton, returning the rented airplane in NJ the following morning.

OUR "GREEN ACRES" FARM DAYS

Early in our marriage, I took a job at IBM Federal Systems, Owego, NY, not far from Binghamton!

We purchased an old farm house with three barns and 88 acres of land in Newark Valley, NY, about 12 miles north of Owego.

TOP LEFT: Vi's parents, Gilbert and Clara Stark, visit our farm where we raised sheep. We had a kerosene heater in the kitchen and propane heaters in two other rooms. Our bedroom lacked any heater at all. I can still imagine what they were thinking "What have you done to our daughter?"

BOTTOM LEFT: Ira's parents, Morris and Ruth Glickstein, visit our farm. With the help of the New York State Agricultural Extension Service, we built a 1/4 acre pond on our land above the house and barns. We sometimes camped there.

RIGHT: Vi and Lisa get close and personal with one of our Angus beef cattle.

Some more views of our "Green Acres" FARM DAYS (1965-1973). 

TOP: In addition to the very old house and barns, the purchase included Trixie, our loyal dog. We built a dirt road up to the pond we put on the land above the house and barns.

BOTTOM LEFT: Me with my Dad Morris on road overlooking house and barns. Dad enclosed the front porch and made major improvements inside the house.

BOTTOM RIGHT: I'm in the middle, shoveling the chicken manure left over from the hens raised for eggs by the previous owners. Steamy and pungent, but great fertilizer!

ALSO SEE:

1. Wedding and Farm Days 
2. Passing the Genes and Memes
3. Computers R Us (Ira and Vi's careers)
4. Retirement in The Villages, FL
5. Our 50th Anniversary Baltic Cruise (Air Travel and Shipboard activities)
6. Our 50th Anniversary Baltic Cruise (Land-Tours)

So, please join me in thinking about your good and eventful times with Violet. Read subsequent postings on this Blog about events I remember. If you'd like, you could put on some slippers, sit on your couch, and join me and others in a "virtual" Shiva for Violet.

Love to all, and specially elevated kisses and hugs to Violet, from her husband,

Ira Glickstein

Click for LAST posting

Click for NEXT posting     

NOTE:  This is the third of our "Virtual Sitting Shiva", the traditional Jewish custom of relatives and friends devoting seven days to specially remembering the deceased.

Violet and Ira Glickstein were married in 1964. See our 50th Anniversary memories in the following postings include highlights of our life together.

CLICK THE HYPERTEXT BELOW TO JUMP TO YOUR TOPIC OF CHOICE

1. Wedding and Farm Days 
2. Passing the Genes and Memes
3. Computers R Us (Ira and Vi's careers)
4. Retirement in The Villages, FL
5. Our 50th Anniversary Baltic Cruise (Air Travel and Shipboard activities)
6. Our 50th Anniversary Baltic Cruise (Land-Tours)

50th-0 CELEBRATING OUR 50th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY (tvpclub.blogspot.com)

Violet's Immigrant Family and Her Brooklyn Childhood thru College

This is the second in my "Virtual Sitting Shiva" series of Blog postings of memories of Violet (Stark) Glickstein, my dear wife of 57 years, who sadly passed away November 27, 2021. [The first posting in this series is Here]

The photo below shows Violet, as a child, with her younger brother Sam, and their mother, Clara Stark. (In the early 1950's, when his photo was taken, none of us knew Violet and I would marry, and Clara would become my Mother-in-Law!) 

A CHILD OF IMMIGRANTS

Violet was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. She was proud of her Hungarian heritage and membership in the Jewish community. Both of her parents were born in Hungary. 

In 1938, recognizing the existential threat to the Jewish community posed by the growing Nazi menace, her parents-to-be separately immigrated to the United States. The following year, in September 1939, Hitler invaded Poland.  

The image below is of the Hungarian passport issued to Violet's father, Geza Stark, in 1938. 

The "Declaration of Intention" document pictured below was filed in New York in 1940. It gives Geza's birthplace as "Pazab", Hungary. [I could not find "Pazab" on a current map of Hungary. "Pazab" may be a typographical error, or an alternate spelling. Google found a town in north-eastern Hungary called "Paszab".]

Geza's date of birth is given as January 9, 1914. His height is 5 feet 4 inches, and he weighs in at 125 pounds. He came to the US on the vessel Washington on April 1, 1938. He pledges to "renounce forever all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state or sovereignty". 

Geza's occupation is simply listed as "Tailor". That is a bit of an understatement because, in the 1960's, he went on to become a well-known custom tailor with a shop on Broadway in Manhattan, He Americanized his given name, "Geza", to "Gilbert".

His famous customers included a fellow-Hungarian, Edward Teller, the well-known theoretical physicist who is colloquially referred to as "the father of the hydrogen bomb". See Edward Teller - Wikipedia. When Teller came to New York to be measured and fitted for his custom-tailored suits, he enjoyed relaxing and conversing in his native language with a fellow Hungarian Jew.  

When Violet grew up and heard about her dad's friendship with the famous physicist, she asked if Gilbert had ever requested and received an autograph. "The only autograph I needed from him," answered Gilbert, "was on his check paying for the suits."

CLARA AND GILBERT MARRY

In 1940, Gilbert met and married a fellow Hungarian Jewish immigrant named Clara Schwartz, who had come to the US with her mother, Julia Schwartz. Although Clara and Gilbert arrived in the same year, 1938, they travelled on separate ships. They did not know each other until they met in New York. 

Clara and Gilbert's wedding photo, below, shows them with Clara's mother, Julia, and her second husband, Samuel Schwartz. (Julia's first husband, whose last name was Katz, was killed in Hungary before she and Clara immigrated to the US in 1938.) 

Violet was born on April 27, 1942, five months after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Gilbert joined the US Army. He was sent to England, where he trained for the eventual allied invasion of Europe that started in June of 1944. He did not talk much about his wartime experiences, but we know he rose to the rank of Seargent. The photo below shows Gilbert in uniform with Clara and Violet. 

 

VIOLET'S EDUCATION IN BROOKLYN, NY

Violet's family were observant, Orthodox Jews. At an early age, her grandmother, Julia, taught her to recite the Hebrew prayers. They were serious about attended Saturday services nearly every week. Violet often recounted the fun she had as a young child at synagogue.

My family, also ostensibly Orthodox Jewish, had nearly zero literal religious belief and was almost totally non-observant. We considered Jewish religious services to be a boring waste of time. Sure, if the 13-year-old son of a relative or neighbor was being Bar Mitzvah, and we were invited, we would attend. But mainly as a matter of duty and obligation.

We considered ourselves to be loyal, red-blooded Americans. We had no desire to leave the US and move to the newly established Jewish State of Israel. Yet, we wanted Israel to be strong economically and militarily. We contributed to Jewish charities that helped Israel. We voted for candidates who favored continued American support for Israel. 

As you may know, in an Orthodox synagogue, men sit in the front, women in the rear, behind a partition called the "Mechitzah". (As it was explained to me, this seating arrangement is not degrading to the honor and dignity of women. It is necessary to allow men to give their full attention and concentration to their prayers, which is possible only if their eyes are shielded from seeing women's bodies.  Apparently, this is not a problem for women looking at men's bodies.) 

Observant Jews, like Violet's grandmother, actually enjoy the hours they devote to Saturday religious services. Violet repeatedly told me how much fun she had as a small child attending services most Saturday mornings with her grandmother. Young girls, and boys, would generally sit in the women's section with their mothers and grandmothers. We all know that there is a limit to a small child's "sitzfleisch" (Yiddish word meaning something like "sitting on your butt flesh".) Therefore, according to Violet's happy memories, she and other kids would get out of their seats and run from the woman's section out the back door, around to the front of the synagogue, and back in through the men's section! 

When an Orthodox Jewish boy reaches the age of 13, he is eligible to be Bar Mitzvah, the precept or commandment, and associated religious initiation ceremony, confirming he is ready to observe religious precepts and take part in public worship. Even though my family was not particularly religiously observant, I, as a male, was expected to learn to read Hebrew well enough to recite the major prayers and be Bar Mitzvah. Therefore, starting a few years before I turned 13, I attended Hebrew School for a couple hours on Sunday, and  for an hour on two weekdays. after elementary school let out.

Obedient to a fault, I did my part. I learned to recite the prayers and chant my Haftorah in Hebrew. (A Haftorah is a reading, from the book of Prophets, which is different every week.) On my appointed Bar Mitzvah Saturday, a couple dozen members of my proud family (mostly from Brooklyn but including at least two relatives from the Bronx) joined over 100 regular Sabbath attendees at the Hebrew Alliance Synagogue in Brighton Beach to witness my performance. 

Near the end of the service, in my squeaky, not-yet-fully-mature voice, I gave the expected "Today I am a man" speech to the crowd. 

Later that day, my parents hosted a grand reception and dinner party for invited family and friends at a nearby catering hall. There was lots of food, an open bar with (mostly) responsible drinking, and loud music and dancing. Midway through the event, I was asked to get up and repeat my speech. A family friend who had access to a movie camera captured highlights of the event on film and audiotape.  

VIOLET'S FACILITY WITH LANGUAGE

Violet has always been better than me at reading Hebrew. She also seems to have a knack for learning words and phrases from other languages that we've encountered on our travels, including Arabic, Greek, French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, and even Chinese. 

Like many immigrant families, Violet's parents, Clara and Gilbert, and her grandparents, Julia and Samuel, spoke their native language at home, to the near exclusion of English. 

One of Violet's favorite stories is how, when she started attending the neighborhood public elementary school, her mother was called in by her teacher. The teacher suggested that they speak English at home because "it will be good for both of you." I don't know how that type of frank (and in my opinion good) advice would go over in today's political climate, but they accepted and followed it. 

VIOLET'S HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE YEARS

Violet graduated from Lafayette High School in June 1959, intending to "major in science and math [at] Brooklyn College."

No surprise! In 1963, Violet graduated from Brooklyn College with a Bachelor's degree in Science. She was a member of the Chemistry Society, Lowell House, and the Yiddish Club.

So, please join me in thinking about your good and eventful times with Violet. Read subsequent postings on this Blog about events I remember. If you'd like, you could put on some slippers, sit on your couch, and join me and others in a "virtual" Shiva for Violet.

Love to all, and specially elevated kisses and hugs to Violet, from her husband,

Ira Glickstein

Click for LAST posting

Click for NEXT posting     

NOTE:  This is the second of our "Virtual Sitting Shiva", the traditional Jewish custom of relatives and friends devoting seven days to specially remembering the deceased.

Violet and Ira Glickstein were married in 1964. See our 50th Anniversary memories in the following postings include highlights of our life together.

CLICK THE HYPERTEXT BELOW TO JUMP TO YOUR TOPIC OF CHOICE

1. Wedding and Farm Days 
2. Passing the Genes and Memes
3. Computers R Us (Ira and Vi's careers)
4. Retirement in The Villages, FL
5. Our 50th Anniversary Baltic Cruise (Air Travel and Shipboard activities)
6. Our 50th Anniversary Baltic Cruise (Land-Tours)

50th-0 CELEBRATING OUR 50th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY (tvpclub.blogspot.com)

One Year Ago Today My Dear Wife Violet Passed Away

Today marks one month since the sad passing, late Saturday evening, November 27, 2021, of my beloved wife of 57 years, Violet (Stark) Glickstein, age 79. 

In addition to being a special blessing to me as my wife, Violet was also a devoted mother to our three children, Lisa, Rena, and Sara; and a loving grandmother to Lisa's children (Alex, Michela, and Samantha) and Sara's (Isaac and Emerson). Violet was also a great friend to many others. 

HOW WE WILL REMEMBER AND HONOR VIOLET

We, as a family, will remember Violet for all the great times we had together. Education was important to her, and she delighted in family events at our children's and grandchildren's elementary and high schools. 

Advanced education, at the College and Post-Graduate levels, was particularly significant. Violet and I "kvelled" (Yiddish word meaning "burst with pride") as our children were awarded the degrees they had earned (PhDs for Lisa and Sara, a Masters for Rena, and Bachelors for Lisa's children). 

Speaking of degrees, Violet earned her Bachelors in Chemistry in 1963 (not the norm for females in the 1960's). Once our children were out of elementary school, Violet went back to college to earn her Masters in Computer Science (1983), when in her 40's! (With all those advanced degrees flying around in our immediate family, I felt "obligated" to get my Masters and PhD while in my very ripe 50's!)

In addition to delighting in education, Violet loved to travel with me, family members, and friends. At or near the top of her list of favorite places in the world were destinations with "Disney" in their titles: Disneyland (California), Disney World (Florida), and even Shanghai Disney Resort (China). We visited the latter in 2017, when our Grandchild Michaela, a Hospitality Major at Purdue, was doing an internship at a Chinese resort, see The Virtual Philosophy Club: Beyond Communism - the Emergence of a Newly Prosperous and Increasingly Capitalist CHINA! (tvpclub.blogspot.com) and The Virtual Philosophy Club: CHINA - WAY BEYOND COMMUNISM (tvpclub.blogspot.com)

We also travelled to England when our Grandchild Alex was interning at Oxford. We would have visited our third Grandchild Samantha when she was interning, however, she was in Australia, so far off the grid that a visit was not possible. 

Other family vacations included our Alaska cruise in 2010, where Violet showed she still had lots of "zip" in her as we flew between trees riding the zipline in Ketchican, see The Virtual Philosophy Club: Plenty of ZIP as We Mature (tvpclub.blogspot.com) 

From left to right sitting around the table: Michaela Hagler, Jerry Hagler, Alex Hagler, David Moyers, Rena Moyers, Lisa Glickstein, Samantha Hagler, Violet Glickstein. I (Ira) am standing in the rear with Lou who lives on the cruise ship.

In 2014 we took the family on a Baltic cruise that included a brief stop in St. Petersberg, Russia, see: The Virtual Philosophy Club: Our Brief Visit to Russia (tvpclub.blogspot.com) 

As we waited in the St. Petersburg park, along with our Grandchild Alex, I noticed the pigeons had an unusual fondness for the famous Russian writer, see photos above. I tested my ability to sound out Cyrillic characters by reading the inscription on the Pushkin statue, "Алекса́ндр Серге́евич ПУШК" [ALEKSANDER SERGEVITCH PUSHKIN].

VIOLET'S OBITUARY

Our daughter Lisa composed a marvelous obituary that captures the essence of Violet. Violet Glickstein | Obituaries | thevillagesdailysun.com

VIRTUALLY "SITTING SHIVA" FOR VIOLET

According to Wikipedia, Shiva (Hebrew: שבעה‎‎, literally "seven") is the week-long mourning period for first-degree relatives. The ritual is referred to as "sitting shiva". According to Jewish law, we assume the status of "avel" (Hebrew: אבל; "mourner"). This state lasts for seven days, during which family members traditionally gather and receive visitors.

In our modern times, when families live all over the US and the World, and where literal belief is scarce, it isn't really practical for first-degree relations to sit around on couches in the living room for a week wearing slippers.

Although I lack any real literal belief in Jewish ritual, IMHO, it does make sense for those closest to the deceased to make a special effort to remember her (at least) during the weeks and months following her departure.

For reasons I can't defend rationally, I'm very pleased that our daughters Lisa, Rena, and Sara, and Lisa's children, Alex, Michaela, and Samantha attended Hebrew school, learned to read that ancient language, and went through the formal Bat Mitzvah process. I don't think any of them had then or have now any real literal belief, which, in a way, makes it a sort of minor miracle that they did so. (This last sentence brings tears to my eyes as I read it. How about you?)

VIOLET'S HEROIC STRUGGLE WITH LIVER DISEASE

For several months prior to her passing, Violet and I were concerned about the damage diabetes had wrought on her liver. Several months ago, on September 14, 2021, Dr. Eric Schwartzberg attempted to perform a TIPS procedure at the Leesburg Hospital (see Transjugular intrahepatic portosystemic shunt - Wikipedia) to place a shunt near her liver, and his attempt failed due to "occlusions" in the portal vein. 

Prior to the surgery, the doctor was quite frank with us. He said he had done dozens of successful TIPS procedures where there were no occlusions. Unfortunatey, he said, he has attempted six with occlusions, and only two of them were successful. "So, I'll be number three!" said Violet confidently. Sadly, the odds were against her, and they won.

A week after the failed TIPS procedure, Violet fell in our apartment, and I could not get her back up on her feet. The staff at Freedom Pointe Independent Living called 911 and the very prompt and efficient EMTs showed up and took her to the Emergency Room at The Villages Hospital. After two weeks of treatment at the hospital, she was released to the skilled nursing "Rehab" facility on the Freedom Pointe campus. 

Unfortunately, after a few days at Rehab, she falls there, perhaps due to low blood pressure, and is readmitted to the hospital. She cycled from hospital to Rehab and back again three times as the doctors tried to find a mixture of drugs and treatments to balance her body chemistry against the buildup of toxins caused by her liver failure. Due to Covid restrictions, each time Violet was admitted to FP Rehab, she had to be isolated, and visitors were required to wear full Personal Protective Equipment. The photo shows Lisa and me in full-PPE. 

VIOLET COMES HOME FOR HER FINAL WEEK

Finally, on Tuesday, November 16, Violet was returned to our Independent Living apartment and was able to eat in our Dining Room. 

Looking back, what turned out to be her final week at home (November 16th thru 23rd) was a glorious time! 

Vi was warmly greeted by everyone each day that we ate our big meal of the day in the Dining Room, and as we passed through other public areas.

Freedom Pointe has been proactive in the Covid-19 crisis. They scheduled on-site clinics in January and February where both Vi and I were fully vaccinated with Pfizer shots. They had an on-site clinic in October, where I got my booster shot. Vi missed that clinic because she was off-site, but, when she was back home on November 18th, I drove her to our Publix pharmacy, and she was boosted.

On Sunday, November 21, one of the last days of that most wonderful week, our good friends Bunny and Bob Adler took us on a tour of the Fenney Springs Nature Trail in The Villages. 

Vi sat comfortably in her wheeled transport chair as we pushed her along the paved trail, enjoying the birds, turtles, fish, and a sleepy alligator. Earlier, we had stopped by a fast-food place and picked up the Chicken Sandwich Vi had begged for all through her Hospital/Rehab confinement. We consumed our chicken and fries in the shade of tall trees.

VIOLET'S FINAL DAYS

A few days later, Wednesday, November 24, Violet and I were scheduled for an early morning visit to the nearby LabCorp to give fasting-blood samples. She woke me about 5am, and, using her walker with a bit of help from me, was able to make a successful visit to the toilet. She woke me again around 6am and puked up a bit of the Blackened Catfish she had consumed at the Freedom Pointe Dining Room the evening before. 

As 7am departure time for our LabCorp journey approached, Violet was unable to stand up, so I went myself. 

When I returned, she was sleeping atop the covers on her bed. She woke-up and was communicative, but lethargic and a bit confused, I called the Freedom Pointe nurse who came right away. She examined Violet and took her Blood Pressure which was low. We used her Libre Blood Sugar sensor and got a moderately high reading. 

The nurse called 911. Those dependable EMTs showed up, checked her vitals, and asked a series of questions, which Violet answered in a confused manner. 

When I got to the Emergency Room (ER) Violet was getting her CT-Scan. When she was wheeled back into her ER room, her eyes were partially open, but she was non-communicative. 

The ER nurses and doctors informed me that Violet was in critical condition, with multiple system failures, including not only her liver, but kidneys as well. They suggested she should be given only "comfort care". She was transferred from the ER to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU).

I checked the "Living Will" documents that she and I had updated in recent months, and, after Lisa spoke directly to the nurse and the doctor, and we all agreed, I signed the papers necessary to place her in "Comfort care" status.

Violet remained unresponsive to spoken requests from me that she move her tongue or move her hand when it is being squeezed. Her eyes remained partially open, pupils slowly scanning side to side, as Lisa, via speakerphone "talked" to her, as did our son-in-law Jerry and one of our grandchildren, Alex. 

The following day, friends Bunny and Bob drove me to visit Violet in the ICU and we set up her transfer to the Cornerstone Hospice. 

The image above, taken on Wednesday, November 24th by our good friend Bunny Adler in The Villages Hospital ICU, is the last photo of Violet and me together. 

Violet was admitted to Cornerstone Hospice the following day, November 25th.

On Friday, November 26, Rabbi Zev of Temple Shalom (where Violet and I are founding members) met and comforted me at Hospice, He spoke to Violet and said the appropriate prayers. I went to Friday services that evening at Temple Shalom. 

On Saturday, November 27, Bunny and Bob drove me to the beautiful, tree-shaded Hillcrest Memorial Gardens, in nearby Leesburg, to select the plot where Violet was to be buried, and the adjacent plot reserved for me. 

Our plots are in the Jewish "Garden of David" area near the Temple Shalom Memorial Garden.

The photo below shows the plots reserved for Violet and me (green flags).

Violet was interred on December 2, in a private ceremony conducted by Rabbi Zev. 

AFTERWORD

Earlier this week, after a pleasant dinner in the Freedom Pointe Pub with good friends, I picked up my mail and got in the elevator to go back up to my apartment. A couple of fellow residents, who I don’t happen to know very well, popped into the elevator just as the doors were about to close. “Sorry for your loss” they said, in a sincere effort to acknowledge Vi’s passing and comfort me.

 

“This will be my first New Years without her,” I replied. Tears came to my eyes. I had difficulty completing that sentence. 

I think of myself as a relatively non-emotional man who treats the difficulties of life and human interaction with the same cold logic and precise engineering I devoted to the solution of System Engineering issues!

Not so!

 

Vi’s critical illness and relatively sudden departure from this world have been extremely difficult for me. Yes, friends and relatives have come through for me with sincere kindness and have been extremely generous with their time. 

Rabbi Zev and leaders and members of Temple Shalom have been wonderful. 

The staff and medical professionals at Freedom Pointe Independent Living and Rehab and The Villages Hospital have been warm and gracious. 

Our daughter Lisa, sons-in-law Jerry and David, and our triplet grands Alex, Michaela, and Samantha disrupted their very active working lives to come here in person to comfort and help me, and, to clean up the clutter in our apartment. They each continue to support me via cellphone and internet.

CELEBRATING CHANUKAH 2021 FOR VIOLET

Vi's passing coincided with our celebration of Chanukah in the Freedom Pointe lobby. The photo below shows some of our fellow residents, along with visiting family members, kindling the Chanukah lights for the fourth day.

They are (left to right): 

[Fellow Residents] Lynn Belford, Roy Belford, Roben Gaftman, Bob Adler, Marty Rothbard, Bunny Adler,

[Family] Samantha Hagler (Grandchild), Jerry Hagler (Son-in-law), Alex Hagler (Grandchild), Michaela Hagler (Grandchild), David Moyers (Son-in-law), Lisa Glickstein (Daughter), and, in the Chanukah-themed "I LATKE, MOVE IT, MOVE IT" shirt, me, Ira Glickstein.

So, please join me in thinking about your good and eventful times with Violet. Read subsequent postings on this Blog about events I remember. If you'd like, you could put on some slippers, sit on your couch, and join me and others in a "virtual" Shiva for Violet.

Love to all, and specially elevated kisses and hugs to Violet, from her husband,

Ira Glickstein

Click for FINAL posting

Click for NEXT posting     

Violet and Ira Glickstein were married in 1964. See our 50th Anniversary memories in the following postings include highlights of our life together.

CLICK THE HYPERTEXT BELOW TO JUMP TO YOUR TOPIC OF CHOICE

1. Wedding and Farm Days 
2. Passing the Genes and Memes
3. Computers R Us (Ira and Vi's careers)
4. Retirement in The Villages, FL
5. Our 50th Anniversary Baltic Cruise (Air Travel and Shipboard activities)
6. Our 50th Anniversary Baltic Cruise (Land-Tours)

50th-0 CELEBRATING OUR 50th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY (tvpclub.blogspot.com)

NOTE:  This is the first of our "Virtual Sitting Shiva", the traditional Jewish custom of relatives and friends devoting seven days to specially remembering the deceased.